Saturday, 13 September 2025
I first learned about MBTI back in 2014 during one of my postgraduate counseling classes. My lecturer told us we could bring our partners to sit in because, according to him, MBTI wasn’t just useful for clients; it worked wonders for couples too. Out of all the students, guess who was the only partner who showed up? My husband. Not only did he come, he sat right in the front row and took meticulous notes like a model student.
That day gave us a lot of aha moments. For instance, we finally understood why our fights often escalated into mini soap operas. It turned out I was very Judging; my motto being “if it can be done now, why wait?”. On contrary, my husband was peak Perceiving, living by the philosophy “if it can be done later, why rush now?” Naturally, the collision was inevitable.
MBTI helped us laugh at these differences instead of weaponizing them. It also explained why I often felt “too emotional” (hello, Feeling type) while he came across as “too robotic” (classic Thinking). Once we saw the framework, we fought less, respected more, and rolled our eyes in sync rather than at each other.
My husband even applied MBTI to his workplace at Tiket.com at that time. He led the IT directorate back then and asked his whole team to take MBTI assessments. The results helped him restructure roles so everyone worked in alignment with their natural strengths. That’s when I realized MBTI isn’t just about couples’ harmony; it’s a practical tool for teamwork and leadership too.
Still, I hadn’t yet dived into MBTI with both feet until an old friend confessed that learning MBTI saved the marriage. This person then said something that shook me: “It’s such a waste—you’ve got thousands of followers, but you’ve never educated them about MBTI. You could’ve saved more marriages.” Ouch. That was both a slap and a calling.
So in August 2018, I signed up for official MBTI certification from The Myers-Briggs Company (back then still called CPP Asia). The training was held in Bali, which was a nice coincidence coz it's cheaper than flying to the US or even Singapore. It cost IDR 35 million, now it cost almost 50 million I think, but also priceless compared to what it unlocked for me.
From then on, I started sharing about MBTI with my followers, hosting workshops, getting invited to train at companies, and holding one-on-one sessions using official assessments. Just this afternoon, I had a private session with a client who won a collaboration contest. For two hours, we explored her personality type until she saw clearly which of her “16 inner rooms” held the best version of herself. That moment when someone recognizes their own nature feels so fulfilling for me.
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| Posted with client's consent |
Here’s the problem I see over and over again, both online and offline: people underestimate how much misunderstanding of personality differences creates unnecessary conflict. Couples nag at each other without realizing they’re wired differently. Parents misjudge their children’s natural pace of growth. Bosses label employees as “lazy” or “difficult” when really, they’re just working from a different framework. According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, personality differences account for nearly 40% of conflicts in close relationships. That’s huge, and mostly preventable.
What MBTI offers isn’t a magic wand, but a flashlight. It doesn’t change who we are, but it helps us see. Once you see, you can practice what I like to call the 3A principle: aware, accept, adapt. Awareness gives us language for what we often feel but can’t explain. Acceptance keeps us from turning differences into accusations. Adaptation lets us build bridges instead of walls.
Even psychologists emphasize this. Carl Jung, whose work inspired MBTI, once wrote, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” That line still humbles me. Because sometimes the thing that drives me nuts about my husband or anyone, really is exactly the thing that balances me out.
And here’s a funny thing: the more I use MBTI in my own life, the more I realize how often people just need permission to be themselves. I’ve seen executives finally understand why they hate spreadsheets but thrive in brainstorming sessions. I’ve seen parents stop forcing their introverted children to be the “life of the party” once they realized depth matters more to them than spotlight. I’ve seen couples laugh in relief because they finally realized they weren’t “broken,” they were just different.
If you’ve ever wondered why your spouse leaves socks everywhere, why your teenager prefers texting to talking, or why your colleague drafts ten versions of the same email before sending one, you might find an answer in MBTI. Not the whole answer, but a starting point.
So here’s my suggestion: get curious. Learn your own type, but don’t stop there. Explore the types of the people closest to you. Not as a box to trap them in, but as a window to understand them better. You don’t have to become a certified practitioner, but even basic knowledge can make life a lot less confusing and a lot more compassionate.
If you want to begin, you can start with this: Memahami Perbedaan Kepribadian Menggunakan MBTI .
Or, if you’re ready to explore your own (or others) “16 inner rooms,” you can find each type here.
And maybe start small. Instead of assuming the worst in someone, ask yourself: could this just be their type showing up? That pause alone might save you from an unnecessary argument, or open the door to a better conversation.
MBTI isn’t about four letters on a paper. It’s about learning to see people as whole, complex, and beautifully different. And once we start seeing, we start connecting.
So, what room are you standing in today?
And whose room will you step into with more compassion tomorrow?
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