Forty-Five and Full of Flavor

Saturday, 6 September 2025

Today was a long story, but the kind worth telling. My 45th birthday turned into one of the liveliest, funniest, and most heartwarming family gatherings I’ve ever had. No beach trip, no fancy dinner, no Instagrammable flowers. Just family, food, laughter, and a whole lot of games in my little corner of the world. 😍

Since dawn, my mom was already in the kitchen. The menu looked like this:

• Nasi kuning (easy peasy using this ready-to-use seasoning mix!)
• Rendang hati kentang (also practical using this ready-to-cook seasoning paste)
• Bakwan jagung (again, using this seasoned-flour)
• Telur rebus (boiled in this ridiculously efficient gadget)
• Oven-baked tongkol fish (bless this appliance that made it so easy)
• Tempe bacem (sweetened with palm sugar)
• Ayam kecap (with the family’s favorite soy sauce)

And because we never believe in “enough food,” there were snacks: steamed edamame and pandan cassava (both using this digital electric slow cooker and steamer), kerupuk of all shapes and nostalgia levels, Beng-Beng chocolate bars, Haku ice cream, and Chiki Balls (a special gift from my eldest, who knows my inner child still screams for them). For fruits, my sister contributed apples, jambu, bengkoang, cucumbers, plus spicy rujak sauce to tie it all together. Honestly, the table looked like a mini food festival. 😋

By 9 a.m., we packed everything into boxes and wheeled them down to the function room. Yes, the same one that caused drama yesterday. At exactly 10, we began the games. 

Game one: Mentee.com trivia

All questions about me, from the serious to the downright ridiculous. “What’s the drink I hate the most?” “What degrees do I hold?” “Who drove me to campus during undergrad?” “Which city in Japan haven’t I visited?” “How early do I usually pack before traveling?” Every single question was written by my husband. And the winners? My daughters, of course (without cheating, I swear!!) ✌

Game two: portrait drawing

Rules were simple: draw the person sitting next to you in five minutes. Results were anything but simple. My mom giggled to herself while drawing, and when I looked over, I realized she had turned me into… a man?! It looked like she drew the person across from her (my eldest’s best friend) not the one next to her (me!). The entire room collapsing into laughter. My elder sister, the one who can sketch beautifully, somehow only drew the back of my mom’s hijab. Another round of laughter. And my youngest? She cleverly printed my sister’s WhatsApp profile picture using her laptop pattern tool and passed it off as “her drawing.” Ten out of ten for creativity! 👏

Game three: blowing green beans for money

Each person had one shot to blow a mung bean across the table. Wherever it landed, you won that amount of cash. The highest bill, IDR 50,000, sat temptingly at the edge. Some beans flew right off the table with overenthusiastic puffs. Some stopped just shy of the bigger bills. My sister ended up the champion, landing perfectly on the 50k. Team up with her husband and child, they got 64k in total. We cheered like she’d just won the lottery. 

Game four: stand-up comedy

Everyone had to share a funny story. My younger sister roasted me about the time I didn’t know how trains turn around. My husband told the disgraceful “bebek jadi eek” hospital story. My mom shared how “mobile” was once mistaken for “mobil” (car) at Changi Airport. Others recounted twin dramas and language mix-ups. And then I closed with the most ridiculous story of all: my post-surgery “burial.”

You see, after my hysterectomy, my husband and I asked my parent in-laws to bury my removed uterus and fibroid next to my eldest daughter’s placenta. When the doctor came by, I proudly reported that the burial had been done. The doctor looked confused. The nurses looked alarmed. “But we don’t give those to patients,” they explained. After some questioning, we realized what had been buried instead: a bundle wrapped in latex surgical gloves. Turns out, it was… my underwear. Yes, my beloved underwear was ceremoniously buried next to my daughter’s placenta, mistaken for a sacred organ. My entire family erupted into uncontrollable laughter. Honestly, I couldn’t have planned a better punchline. Psst, don't tell my in-laws, they don't know about it yet! 😹

By the time I finished, the clock struck noon. We moved the feast outside to the picnic area by the lake, under the shade of trees, with koi fish swirling lazily below. The timing was perfect: quiet, breezy, and just us. Plates of nasi kuning and rendang were devoured between bursts of laughter, recalling the drawings, the bean-blowing, the comedy stories. Some biked around the garden paths, others fed the koi (though they looked too stuffed to care). It was one of those afternoons where time didn’t matter; just presence.

At 2pm, the clouds rolled in and my sister had to run a webinar. We retreated to the apartment, enjoyed ice cream, and played UNO and puzzles while snacking on leftovers. The apartment buzzed with joy. Around 8, everyone packed up. Including my mom, who finally “checked out” after almost a month of staying with me, nursing me back to health, cooking like a Michelin-starred chef, and being the ultimate runner-of-all errands. Saying goodbye was bittersweet, but my heart swelled with gratitude.

When I finally lay down, I scrolled through birthday messages from friends and colleagues, each one a little reminder that I am loved in many corners of life. Some messages were funny, some thoughtful, some surprisingly emotional. All of them added to the flavor of the day. Turning 45 feels less like a milestone and more like a mirror. Today, it reflected back to me joy, chaos, resilience, and love... in absurd quantities. 

As Rumi once said: “Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” Today I was guided by laughter, by my mother’s tireless hands, by my children’s creativity, by my husband’s patience, and by the stories that stitched us closer together.

Birthdays don’t have to be grand to be meaningful. They don’t need cakes, flowers, or resorts. Sometimes, they just need homemade foods, silly games, and a family who laughs so hard they cry. Life will always be messy. But in the middle of that mess, joy still insists on being found. Just like I found today. 

Love,

Nuniek Tirta