An INFJ reflects on mental load, a short answer for her kid, a hilarious reunion with a 2002 friend, and being stood up by a property buyer.
I have to start with a confession. I, an INFJ, the Advocate, often said to possess deep and broad insights (or, as the haters call it: an acute overthinker), still frequently find myself trapped in tiny moments that make me either smile to myself, or sometimes... mutter a little under my breath. This all happened because of a simple, innocent question from my daughter.
"Kok lama?" (Why did it take so long?) she asked, right after the car door closed and she was seated comfortably in the back. She had been waiting in the lobby after dropping some packages.
The question was simple. But for me? It was like a philosophical rabbit hole suddenly appearing before my eyes. All I could do was smile and reprocess the question. Digesting every letter, comparing it to my past memories, and allowing a slightly bitter humor to bubble up.
🧹 The Invisible Load: From Dining Table to Magic Jar
Back when I was her age, I never once thought that going out required a home security ritual first.
Making sure all the ACs and lights were turned off.
The dining table had to be cleaned of the crumbs of sin.
The dirty dishes must go into the dishwasher so the ants didn't rush to establish a colony.
The Magicom (rice cooker) unplugged, and the leftover rice put into the fridge so it wouldn't go stale and stink when we got back.
Oh, the horror! Not only my daughter, but even my husband, on our early years of marriage, is often not automatically programmed to consider these tiny household details. He can be ready in the car first, while I’m still acting like a ninja, moving swiftly from room to room, ensuring the curtains are closed, all the kid's needs are packed, and no small source of disaster is left behind.
That, my friend, is what we call the Mental Load and Decision Fatigue. It’s the invisible burden, the one that’s not on the husband’s to-do list, but if ignored, the whole house can turn into a battlefield.
In the past, I might have been triggered and answered at length, maybe even letting out a small rant about how heavy this unseen burden is. I might have said, "Honey, if Mommy doesn't clean this and that, when we come home, the house will be a jungle! Ants everywhere! Stale rice! What will you eat?"
But yesterday? Perhaps because I’ve passed that burnout phase, or maybe because my INFJ soul has reached a new level of Zen peace, I only answered briefly.
"Before we go, we had to clean up the dining table and the kitchen first."
That was it. Just that. And in that simplicity, I felt like a winner. A winner because I didn't have to expend energy explaining something that should be understood, yet successfully conveyed the essence of "Why did it take so long?" without excessive drama. Growth, people! Growth!
👯♀️ Reunion with a Loyal Reader (and Lost Time)
Long story short, I joined my husband in Jakarta. After he got busy with his office meeting, I got busy with matters of the stomach and the heart at Pacific Place. Late lunch and catch up with the one and only, Ollz, my most loyal blog reader since 2002. Goodness, 2002! If my blog were human, it would have graduated college now.
Because Jakarta was being kind that afternoon (truly a miracle worth celebrating), I arrived 30 minutes earlier than our 14:00 appointment. Naturally, I headed straight to Kyochon, my favorite restaurant there. Package 1, no debate.
Exactly a little after 2 PM, Ollz showed up. He got a bit lost because we were using different "water boat" landmarks as our reference, haha. I always get funny stories from Ollz and his socialite world, ranging from metropolitan Jakarta's dizzying social scene, businesses going up and down like a roller coaster, to romantic drama exceeding any soap opera. I, the INFJ who loves to observe and delve deep, only needed to sit pretty, nod, laugh, and occasionally throw in a pointless philosophical question. Time flew by, suddenly it was already past 4 o'clock. The time warp is real, especially with a soulmate friend.
🤯 The Plot Twist
I was supposed to have another meeting at 4 PM with a prospective tenant and buyer for one of my properties.
I waited... 15 minutes... 30 minutes. No news. No sign of life.
I called the gentleman.
It turns out, oh, it turns out, the gentleman was still at his house in Pondok Gede, Bekasi! Excuse me, Sir? Bekasi to Pacific Place is not just a quick dash across the street. The least you could do is notify me if you can't make it, or at least reply to my Whatsapp asking for confirmation! If I had known, I could have just gone home before my husband came to meet me upstairs. Hmph!
But since my husband had already arrived, and my meeting was canceled and Ollz, who was about to leave, canceled his plans too. So, we continued chatting there, accompanying my husband while he ate (he also ordered Package 1 as usual), while Ollz remained steadfast in his Monday-Thursday fast.
We talked until it was almost 6 PM, just about time for Ollz to break his fast. It was time for us to cao (split) and go home.
🎁 A Pig-Scented Conclusion (in a Good Way)
Upon reaching the apartment, a surprise awaited. A package of a birthday "cake" from @babibrutal.babrut!
Wait, what?
It wasn't a typical birthday cake. It was actually a noodle package with various pork toppings, styled exactly like a real birthday cake, complete with "Happy Birthday" decorations and birthday candles! Wow, this idea is brilliant! A fantastic gift or hamper idea for non-Muslim friends. I immediately devoured it that evening for my late dinner. Yum-yum-yum!
And so went my Monday. A day where I contemplated the invisible mental load, reconnected with a timeless friend, was stood up by someone lacking social awareness, and finished off with a brutally delicious pork cake. A very INFJ day: full of contemplation, deep connection, a dash of disappointment in the world, and concluded with an unexpected delight happiness.
Monday, 03 November 2025
Nuniek Tirta Sari
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