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Hal-hal yang Saya Lakukan Ketika Anak Mulai Memasuki Usia Pra-remaja

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Beberapa waktu lalu saat ke acara playdate, di antara blogger moms dengan anak-anaknya, saya baru ngerasa ternyata saya sudah tua juga ya :D Bukan karena usia dan uban yang mulai bermunculan, tapi karena anak-anak saya sudah nggak ada lagi yang berusia balita. Si bungsu usianya sudah 8 tahun, si kakak akhir tahun nanti 10 tahun. Berarti tahun depan si kakak sudah masuk usia belasan, huaaa…

Sebenernya sudah 2 tahun belakangan ini saya berusaha mempersiapkan diri untuk memiliki remaja putri. Apalagi anak saya perempuan dua-duanya, dan jarak usianya juga berdekatan. Apa saja usaha yang saya lakukan?

  • Kuliah lagi! Saya ambil kuliah S2 Psikologi Konseling di Sekolah Tinggi Teologi Jaffray.  Sama sekali bukan buat kejar nilai atau gelar, tapi murni buat ambil ilmu dan pengetahuannya. Bagi saya kuliah itu adalah salah satu investasi terbaik untuk pengembangan diri. Ilmunya bukan hanya untuk diri saya sendiri, tapi juga untuk keluarga, dan semoga buat orang lain juga. Asli, saya dapat banyaakkk banget ilmu parenting yang selama ini nggak saya dapatkan di buku-buku atau majalah-majalah parenting sekalipun. Ada mata kuliah khusus tentang Psikologi Perkembangan, Konseling Anak, Konseling Remaja, Konseling Keluarga. Sekarang sudah  semester terakhir, doain ya mudah-mudahan lancar sampai selesai =)

  • Memperkaya literatur. Baca buku-buku yang mendukung pastinya. Beberapa di antaranya:
  1. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk - Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
  2. How to Say It To Your Kids – Dr. Paul Coleman
  3. Surviving the Terrible Teens – Dr Sandi Mann, Dr Paul Seager, and Dr Jonny Wineberg
  4. Dr. Riley’s Box of Tricks – 80 Uncommon Solutions for Everyday Parenting Problems
  • Selain itu saya juga membekali anak-anak melalui buku-buku terkait, seperti serial Why yang Puberty, juga ada buku khusus tentang persiapan menjadi remaja dan persoalannya. Untungnya anak-anak saya hobi baca, jadi tanpa disuruh pun kadang mereka minta beli dan baca sendiri =)
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  • Berbicara tentang pendidikan seks secara terbuka. Sejak mereka balita, saya sudah memberikan mereka buku Who Has What? Yang isinya membahas tentang perbedaan tubuh anak laki-laki dan perempuan. Memasuki SD, saya berikan buku Why? Seri Puberty. Sengaja saya kenalkan mereka pendidikan seksual sejak dini sebelum mereka terkontaminasi dengan yang lain. Prinsip saya, daripada mereka diam-diam mencari tahu sendiri di luar dari sumber yang belum tentu benar, lebih baik mereka bertanya kepada saya sebagai orangtuanya secara terbuka.

  • Memberinya ruang untuk berteman. This is important because friends are central to teen. Menurut Gottman & Parker, teman itu penting bagi remaja karena alasan-alasan berikut:
  1. Companionship – to share interets, dreams, fears and hang out with
  2. Stimulation – friends provide entertainment, excitement and fun
  3. Physical support – to accompany them
  4. Ego support – to boost self-esteem
  5. Social comparison – to behave well
  6. Intimacy / affection – to develop warm, share secrets and feelings

Berteman nggak hanya dengan teman sekolah saja. Tapi juga dengan saudara, teman sekolah minggu, atau kenalan baru. Dengan saudara, hampir setiap akhir pekan mereka kumpul bareng sepupu di rumah eyangnya seusai les piano. Dengan teman sekolah minggu, sesuai judulnya ya di hari minggu (kalau lagi nggak bolos, hehehe). Dengan kenalan baru, misalnya ikut kegiatan positif seperti Taro Camp =)

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Kenapa saya bilang kegiatan Taro Camp ini positif? Karena aktivitas petualangannya menerapkan metode Experential Learning untuk membentuk karakter anak yang tangguh (resilience), cerdik (street-smart), dan peduli (care for others & environment).

Sejak pendaftaran Taro Camp dibuka April lalu, saya langsung mendaftarkan si sulung untuk ikut. Si kakak sebelumnya sudah nonton dulu rekaman aksi #AnakTangguhIndonesia di Youtube channel Taro. Untung banget saya cepat daftar, karena teman saya mau mendaftarkan anaknya juga selang seminggu kemudian, sudah ditutup karena penuh!

Sehari sebelum acara Taro Camp itu, si kakak packing tas bawaannya sendiri lho. Untung sudah ada checklist lengkap dari panitia, jadi lebih mudah mempersiapkannya. Saya nggak perlu repot lagi, tinggal mengecek saja sudah lengkap atau belum. Bangga melihatnya bisa mandiri =)

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Selain daftar yang harus dibawa, panitia juga memberikan daftar Do and Don’t, Camping Map, dan Jadwal Acara mulai hari pertama sampai hari ketiga yang tampaknya seru banget. Anak saya jadi makin semangat deh. Sayang, adiknya belum bisa ikutan karena belum cukup umur. Tunggu tahun depan ya dek!

Kalau nggak mau ketinggalan info pendaftaran tahun depan, daftar newsletternya saja di sini: http://rangerscamp.taro.id/ Dan bisa ditonton juga Aksi Tangguh Taro Rangers setiap hari Minggu jam 7.30 di RCTI. Jangan sampai ketinggalan!   

PS: Cerita tentang kegiatan Taro Camp nya sendiri nanti menyusul ya =) 

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