Everything I do is intentional.
To some, my life might look spontaneous. Like I do whatever I want, whenever I want. They see the changes I make, the things I post, the words I choose, and maybe they assume I’m just trying things out without direction. But if you know me well, you’ll know: I rarely do things without a reason. There’s always a thread connecting my decisions. Everything I do is by design. Even the smallest things carry intention. It may not be obvious, but I promise you: there’s always a reason underneath.
“Why do you write in English?” some people asked.
A fair question. To them, it might seem I could reach more Indonesian audience if I wrote in Bahasa Indonesia (after all, that’s what most of my audience speaks). But again, it’s intentional. I write in English to sort my readers. Not by status, but by mindset. I choose more educated audience. By “educated,” I don’t mean fancy degrees or academic achievements. I simply mean: those who are willing to learn. Those who don’t get intimidated by unfamiliar words but instead are curious about them. People who are open, eager, and constantly growing. That’s who I want to speak to.
Writing in English keeps the door open to the world.
Honestly, I don’t mind if only ten people read what I write. Or even just one. But I choose to publish it online because I want my words to have the chance to fly. Across borders, across cultures. To know that someone in another part of the world could stumble upon your thoughts and feel less alone, is fulfilling.
Writing in English is my way of keeping my windows open. It reminds me that I’m part of something bigger. That I don’t want to live like a katak dalam tempurung: small-minded, sheltered, or only loud in my little circle. I want to grow wider, not just deeper.
English simply feels more expressive for me.
It’s a language that lets me play, explore, feel, and express things in ways I sometimes struggle to do in Indonesian. Just like preferring hotdog over gudeg, choosing English doesn’t make someone any less Indonesian. Some words carry emotions better in English. Some ideas feel fuller. For someone like me, who relies so much on language to navigate the world, this choice is not superficial. It’s survival. It’s truth-telling.
I’ve been doing this for a while: making quiet, intentional moves.
Back in 2017, when Jakarta was buzzing with political tension and identity politics, I made a conscious decision to post a Bible verse every morning on my Instagram story. Not to preach. Not to provoke. But to filter. I knew it would irritate those who were too caught up in religious fanaticism or narrow-minded agendas. I wanted them to unfollow me, to leave by themselves. And they did. What’s left now are the ones who can accept differences, who can live side by side with someone who thinks differently. I didn’t say anything publicly about this back then. I didn’t need to. But it was never random. It was deliberate. It was personal strategy.
There are many things like that.
Quiet decisions. Silent strategies. Things I do with meaning, even if nobody notices. From who I follow online, to which topics I post about, to why I left socmed and back to blog, and why I changed the blog layout totally and not using the previous, more informative layout. I’m always observing, sensing, adjusting. If something feels off, I ask myself why. If something feels right, I do more of it.
I don't always explain it, I don't have to anyway. But if you ever wonder about something I do, just ask. I can explain. I’ll probably have a story behind it. Because this is not a messy experiment. It’s a journey, and I’m walking it on purpose.
We’re all curating our lives in some way.
Maybe the difference is just how conscious we are about it. Maybe this is also your sign to check in with yourself:
Are your actions reflecting your values?
Are your words aligned with your vision?
Are you growing where you want to grow, or just going with the flow?
Be intentional. Even if no one notices. Especially then.
Let’s not live accidentally. Let’s live on purpose.
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