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They say, HOPE is: Hold On, Pain Ends


But sometimes, pain never ends unless we eliminate hope


Hope for the love that never return
Hope for the people that never come back
Hope for the past that can never be present


Understand that there are impossibilities in this world, and some of them could be those we were hoping for


Never say never, especially to “Never loose hope”

Other stories worth noting

Stone-Free, Heart-Full

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Last night I slept like a baby at the hospital. Woke up feeling fresh, and no toilet struggles this morning. First win of the day! Around 7 a.m., I emerged from the bathroom to find my mom and my in-laws already there. They’d left their house at 5:30 a.m., picked up my mom on the way, and arrived bright and early.   Today’s main event was ESWL treatment to blast my kidney stones into dust. It was supposed to happen at 8 a.m., then moved to 9 a.m., and finally got pushed to 11 a.m. because my doctor had another procedure. Which meant the parents had been there for hours, and I got to nap on and off like a cat waiting for dinner. But maybe that delay was divine scheduling. Just minutes before the nurse came to take me in, my pastor arrived to pray for me in person. He drove 40–50 kilometers to be there. That’s not just kind, it’s humbling. Thank you, Pak Pendeta. And earlier, another “pastor” (in quotes because she’s actually my friend Detha) prayed for me over the phone. Add in the ...
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I'm Alive!

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Yes, after 10 days in hospital and surviving three major operations, thank God I’m still alive, guys!  I know, I know, I’ve been absent for a week from this blog. Not because I don’t want to write, but because life gave me a little detour called “hospital survival mode.” And let me tell you, survival mode is no joke. Imagine trying to juggle post-op pain, a stubborn IV line, doctors coming in at odd hours, and me negotiating with nurses for one more round of painkillers like I was bargaining in a flea market. Add in Netflix running in the background, half-watched movies I don’t remember, and me dozing off mid-dialogue. That was my week. See? Even my fingers had a medical leave. Who knew something as small as an IV placement could make me feel like a baby bird learning to type? But apparently, while I was away, statistics showed hundreds of people were still peeking at this blog every day, as if to check if I’d left a heartbeat here. That thought touches me deeply. So now that my ha...
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From Porcelain Throne to Super VIP Room

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Woke up at 4:45 AM and couldn’t get back to sleep because, well… the mules were kicking. Ended up spending quality time on my porcelain throne (as one does) until my youngest left for school with Daddy as the driver. Then it was time to teach my mom how to use my kitchen gadgets: the dishwasher , Coway water filter , electric kettle , electric egg boiler , sinkgard food waste disposer , digital slow cooker & steamer,   electric lighter , multifunction rice cooker , and of course my beloved mini retro oven air fryer . After fixing her breakfast, I went for another “meditation” session in the toilet because the earlier one was unfinished business. Wrapped up just as my husband got back, and then had breakfast with Mom. But nope, round two wasn’t enough. Chili and fried snacks from yesterday decided to remind me why I’m supposed to be having my appendix removed soon. Still, can you blame me? They were delicious :p By the third round, I was finally done. Told my daughter to cook wi...
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Cold and Bold

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Saturday, 16 August 2025, past midnight “Bu, bu, operasinya sudah selesai ya Bu.” “Dingin… dingin…” Those were the first words that came out of my mouth when I woke up from surgery. Not exactly poetic, but hey, when you’ve just survived laparoscopy and hysterectomy-laparotomy in one go, you don’t wake up quoting Shakespeare. You wake up asking for blankets. I remember shivering, my teeth chattering, my body completely confused about what just happened. The nurses rushed to wrap me in layers, and I drifted in and out of consciousness, half-aware that my life had just been handed back to me, stitched and stapled and sewn together. And honestly, that’s the thing about life, isn’t it? We often imagine survival arriving in big, cinematic ways. Dramatic music, bright lights, maybe even a slow clap. In reality, sometimes it shows up with a shaky whisper: “dingin… dingin…” The doctors told my husband it was quite long, delicate surgery. My appendix alone took nearly an hour, and removing my my...
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Posting Without Scrolling and Other Small Victories

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Last night, I went to bed at 2 AM. Not ideal, I know. At 7 AM, my bladder staged a coup and forced me to wake up. I shuffled to the bathroom, sat there like a queen on her porcelain throne, and opened my laptop, thinking I’d just check something quickly. Famous last words. Before I knew it, three hours had passed. But here’s the twist: I wasn’t doomscrolling. Nope. I've been hiatus on social media for almost 3 weeks now, remember? Instead, I figured out the holy grail of social media sanity: posting on Instagram without getting sucked into the endless scroll. Not even a hint of what other people were posting. The secret weapon? Meta Business Suite . It lets you schedule and post content without even opening the Instagram app. No “just one quick look” that turns into a black hole of reels and memes. Plus, there are neat automation tools, analytics to geek out on, and scheduling options that make me feel like I’m running a proper content empire. Maybe (just maybe) I can return to soc...
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